I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
