Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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