mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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