Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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