'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
