Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
