I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
