I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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