I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
