got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
