she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
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the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
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Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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