this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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