420 ftw
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
