You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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