My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
