no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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