I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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