dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
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He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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