You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
