Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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