4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize