Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have feelings that need drinking.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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