Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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