so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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