i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
