so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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