i think i have two assholes
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
