Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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