My room smells like vodka and shame
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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