Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I love having hate sex.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
