Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
