Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
