And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
