we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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