I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
