I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
