I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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