ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
