Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
