It's Friday. Sex?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
