hotel room ftw
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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