Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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