Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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