Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
