I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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