I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize