Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
