In the future we'll all be gay
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
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