i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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