I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just found a bag of teeth...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
