You just made me feel so damn special
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
