You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
