hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she peed on how many people?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
