yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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