he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
