He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
