so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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