i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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